So you're talking about what? You're talking about...
(puts his cigarette out)
...bitching about that sale you shot, some son of a bitch that doesn't want to buy, somebody that doesn't want what you're selling, some broad you're trying to screw and so forth. Let's talk about something important.
PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN!!!
Coffee's for closers only.
from Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
I’ll be brief.
I joined a baseball fantasy league this year. It is the first time I have ever done anything like this. Don’t get me wrong, I love sports, football specifically, but I follow baseball with interest. The difference being that in football I watch, read and generally care about ALL of the teams. Whoever is playing on Sunday I watch. It could be a Bucs/Seahawks and I will still find it interesting. With baseball, my attention is all local. Mostly Mets but I’ll flip to the Yankees as well. If both those teams stink and are out of it you could easily find me watching a rerun of Mannix on TV Land rather then a baseball game…even if it is the Playoffs or the World Series. In direct comparrison, I NEVER miss an NFL Championship or Superbowl. So, with my dispassion for the diamond fully documented, I entered this league on a lark. What the heck, I said to myself, the competition might add some spice to something I might otherwise have not really cared about.
Well, I am hooked on this trash! I never could have imagined how engaged I could become in such trivial information. Every evening questions burn in my mind, questions that demand answers. Did Felipe Lopez steal a base? How did Hank Blalock do against Joe Saunders? Is Garret Atkins finally going to break his season long slump? Why am I awake at 1:00 AM, sitting alone at my desk in a dark room, sipping a tumbler of Seagram's Seven Crown and staring at a picture of Heath Bell on Yahoo’s Stat Tracker?
And I never even heard of these guys last year!
It is truly amazing how something that had absolutely no meaning to me not that long ago can come to consume my intellectual faculties. But enough rambling and back to the purpose of this post.
My fantasy team has three closers – the position most responsible for the “Save” category for scoring purposes. And they are not bad either -Scott Downs (Toronto), Heath Bell (San Diego) and Mariano (If you don’t know what team then you are probably not reading this anyway.) All three have so far produced one save this week. Cause for concern? Not really, because the guy I am up against only has one – the sub-par- on his knees every night thanking Jesus he still has a job - Huston Street (Colorado.)
My opponent is beating me.
From MLB.com this is the "play by play" recap of the top of the ninth inning of yesterday's Rockies/Rays game:
The score: Colorado: 4 Tampa Bay: 1
Upton singles on a line drive.
Crawford singles on a line drive (Upton to second)
Upton steals third, Crawford steals second
Longoria strikes out swinging (One out)
Pena strikes out swinging (Two out)
Zobrist single on a line drive (Upton scores from third, Crawford scores from second)
Gross puts ball in play - (Three out - Game over)
...and Huston Street notches his 15th save. A complete joke.
The Ace-Hole crafts another gem...
Conversely last night in Baltimore, Francisco (K-Rod) Rodriguez who is, as you all know, the Metropolitans highly paid “brilliant” closer – comes into a one run game in the ninth and proceeds to walk the ballpark, gives up a rope, blows the save and loses the game. But, don’t worry Met fans…he’ll get a whole slew of three run cream puffs to get that total up to 60 for the year lickity-split!
One last thing, for all of you out there using expressions like “lights out,” “un-hittable” and “phenomenal” to describe these guys, I looked up one more stat on MLB.com that will support your descriptions. Huston Street, in the league for 5 years, has 109 saves which puts him just shy of the top 100 all-time list – not bad. K-Rod, with about seven years on the mound, has 225 making him number 33 - totally awesome! At number 18 is Rich Gossage, closer for the Yankees in the 1970s. His 310 total saves looks impressive but it took him over 20 years to accomplish. Just judging by the respective ages of Street and Rodriguez I have little doubt that they will BOTH pass Gossage on the all time leader board. Not only do I think it is inevitable, I think it will be fairly soon.
But you know what? No matter what kind of numbers you throw at me, you will never convince me that EITHER one of these guys are half the pitcher that was The Goose.
For the love of Pete…put the Kool Aid down.
Contributed by:
Larry B
Staff Writer for:
Therightsideofhistory.blogspot.com
